Lost.

im going thru a really black patch of life. I thought that noone is understanding for me. There is a part of me. That feels I am different from everyone else. Something that I can't quite see, Something that I can't quite feel, Something so unreal. But this 'thing' is always there, This 'thing' with others, I will never share. So I push it to the back of my mind, All the thoughts of boys and clothes and make-up, it is hiding behind. Sometimes, when I have almost forgotten, It comes back with such ferocity, Angry and unforgiving. I feel so lost and sad, Whatever caused this feeling must have been so horrible and bad. A lost memory or something else, I'll never know, whatever it is, I know for sure, I can never let this feeling show. but, i've show it. the feeling is unbearable. it almost affected me. but maybe nomore. I felt like im the worst stubborn kid afterall. i felt like i took Him for granted. It wasn't easy for me. i tried many ways to calm myself down. walking that long distance, waiting for him. I know he would be there for me. a smallest thing could be an issue just the next moment. he almost gave up. he tried doing stuff which aint right because of his anger. at times, i felt like giving up on him. not because of him but myself. i know he has given in alot. but i realized i shouldnt cause noone ever cares for me like he does. i should be lucky. i should be greatful. To him, im sorry. im really sorry. i still love you Muhd Khairi ):

L i s h a .

im 6teen !
my life's a failure .
Family/Boyf/Bestf are the best !
♥♥♥♥♥